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 Post subject: Re: Jokes
PostPosted: Thu Aug 08, 2013 9:21 am 
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-How do the crazy people get thru the forest?

-They're taking the psycho-path...

:roll: :lol2:


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 Post subject: Re: Jokes
PostPosted: Sat Nov 02, 2013 5:31 pm 
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RichBitch
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Location: Cape Town, South Africa
This made me giggle :lol:

An old man calls his son and says, "Listen, your mother and I are getting divorced. Forty-five years of misery is enough."

"Dad, what are you talking about?" the son screams.

“We can't stand the sight of each other any longer,” he says. "I'm sick of her face, and I'm sick of talking about this, so call your sister and tell her," and he hangs up.

Now, the son is worried. He calls his sister. She says, "Like hell they’re getting divorced!" She calls their father immediately. "You’re not getting divorced! Don't do another thing. The two of us are flying home tomorrow to talk about this. Until then, don't call a lawyer, don't file a paper. DO YOU HEAR ME?” She hangs up the phone.

The old man turns to his wife and says, "Okay, they’re both coming for Christmas and paying their own airfares.

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 Post subject: Re: Jokes
PostPosted: Mon Nov 04, 2013 6:19 pm 
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Mistress of Ceremonies (admin)
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^ A twist I didn't expect! Pahahaha! Sneaky! :rolling: :rolling:

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 Post subject: Re: Jokes
PostPosted: Sun Nov 17, 2013 8:58 pm 
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Location: North Florida, USA
seen this one?

Q: How many lead guitarists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: One. The guitarist holds the bulb, and the world revolves around him.

lol...

Q: What do you have when you hold two green balls in your hand?

A: Kermit's undivided attention.

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 Post subject: Re: Jokes
PostPosted: Mon Nov 18, 2013 1:49 am 
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RichBitch
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^ ^_^ I enjoyed those

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 Post subject: Re: Jokes
PostPosted: Mon Nov 18, 2013 8:17 am 
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^Yup, they're great! :lol: Thank you! :hug:


"My friend told me how electricity is measured, and I was like: -Watt?"

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 Post subject: Re: Jokes
PostPosted: Tue Dec 03, 2013 4:28 am 
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RichBitch
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I've heard this joke before...but it always makes me :lol2:

The other night I was invited out for a night with the "girls." I told my husband that I would be home by midnight, "I promise!" Well, the hours passed and the margaritas went down way too easily. Around 3 a.m., a bit loaded, I headed for home. Just as I got in the door, the cuckoo clock in the hallway started up and cuckooed 3 times. Quickly, realizing my husband would probably wake up, I cuckooed another 9 times. I was really proud of myself for coming up with such a quick-witted solution, in order to escape a possible conflict with him. (Even when totally smashed... 3 cuckoos plus 9 cuckoos totals 12 cuckoos = MIDNIGHT !) The next morning my husband asked me what time I got in, I told him "MIDNIGHT"... he didn't seem pissed off in the least. Whew, I got away with that one! Then he said "We need a new cuckoo clock." When I asked him why, he said, "Well, last night our clock cuckooed three times, then said "oh shit" Cuckooed 4 more times, cleared its throat, cuckooed another three times, giggled, cuckooed twice more, and then tripped over the coffee table and farted.

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 Post subject: Re: Jokes
PostPosted: Thu Jan 16, 2014 2:52 pm 
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Tillicious Girl
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Location: sitting on Till's lap
Two men go camping. They both go into the tent to get some sleep. A few hours later, one guy is shaken awake.

"What's wrong?" he asks.

"What do you see?" the other guy asks.

"Stars."

"And what does that mean?"

"It means you and I are merely 2 insignificant beings in this large universe. That the universe can go on probably forever and no one will ever know that we existed long after our time."

"No, you dumbass! It means someone stole the tent!"

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Love is like a flower, even the most beautiful kind dies ~ Till Lindemann


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 Post subject: Re: Jokes
PostPosted: Thu Jan 16, 2014 4:04 pm 
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^Andrea & ^^tillsgurl:
:rolling: :rolling:
Both great, made me laugh, even though I'm tired, a bit down and stressed.
Thank you both! :hug: :hug:


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