A blonde was shopping at Target and came across a shiny silver Thermos. She was quite fascinated by it, so she picked it up and took It to the clerk to ask what it was.
The clerk said, ‘Why, that’s a thermos….. It keeps hot things hot, And cold things cold.’
‘Wow, said the blonde, ‘that’s amazing….I’m going to buy it!’ So she Bought the thermos and took it to work the next day.
Her boss saw it on her desk. ‘What’s that,’ he asked?
‘Why, that’s a thermos….. It keeps hot things hot and cold things Cold,’ she replied..
Her boss inquired, ‘What do you have in it?’
The blond replied……’Two popsicles and some coffee.’
A blonde goes into work one morning crying her eyes out.
Her boss asked sympathetically, ‘What’s the matter?’
The blonde replies, ‘Early this morning I got a phone call saying that My mother had passed away.’
The boss, feeling sorry for her, says, ‘Why don’t you go home for the Day? Take the day off to relax and rest.’
‘Thanks, but I’d be better off here. I need to keep my mind off it and I have the best chance of doing that here.’
The boss agrees and allows the blonde to work as usual. A couple of hours pass and the boss decides to check on the blonde. He looks out from his office and sees the blonde crying hysterically…
‘What’s so bad now? Are you gonna be okay?’ he asks.
‘No!’ exclaims the blonde. ‘I just received a horrible call from my sister. Her mother died, too!’
And a non-blonde joke:
One of my friends works in the customer service call center of a national pager company. He deals with the usual complaints regarding poor pager operation, as well as the occasional crank caller demanding to be paged less often, more often, or by more interesting people.
The best call came from a man who repeatedly complained that he keeps being paged by “Lucille.” He was instructed that he would have to call her and tell her to stop paging him.
“She don’t never leave no number, so I can’t call her back,” he said.
After three such calls, someone thought to ask how he knew it was Lucille if she didn’t leave a number.
“She leaves her name,” was the reply.
After establishing that the customer had a numericonly pager, the light bulb came on.
“How does she spell her name?” the service rep asked.
Another problem solved.
(All from laughtodeath.com)