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 Post subject: Can you check my work?
PostPosted: Sun Jan 22, 2012 11:35 am 
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This was a translation practice I decided to try to do. I got the little story from a site that has different story sheets for little kids to continue the story. I thought the already done portion of it would be a good practice for me. My German is pretty poor and trying to do this really tested me, despite its simple sentences. Anyone want to correct my mistakes?

ORIGINAL:
My sister woke me up early this morning. She ran into my room before the alarm clock went off.
“Look outside!” she yelled.
I got out of bed and looked out the window. All that I could see was white snow! There was a man shoveling the sidewalk in front of our house.
Mom came into the room. She brought us each a mug of hot chocolate.
“No school today!” she said. I was very happy. My sister was happy, too.
Mom left the room to find our snow clothes. She gave me my blue snowsuit. She also gave me a hat and mittens.

TRANSLATION:
Meine Schwester wachte mich diesen Morgen früh auf. Bevor der Wecker klingen, lief sie in meinen Zimmer.
„Seht ausserhalb!“ sie schreite.
Ich steigte von das Bett und sah ich aus den Fenster. Alle konnte ich war weiss Schnee sehen! Dort war ein Mann vor unserem Haus den Bügersteig schaufeln.
Mutti kam in das Zimmer. Sie bringte uns eine Tasse heiss Schokolade.
„Heute Schule nicht!“ sie sagte. Ich war sehr glücklich. Meine Schwester war auch glücklich.
Mutti liess das Zimmer unser Winterkleidung finden. Sie gab mir meinem blauem Schneeanzug. Sie gab mir einem Hut und Handschuhe.

I'm sure everything is wrong :dunce:. I have a lot of trouble with doing self-study. I need to ask questions and have things thoroughly explained to me and you can't ask a book a question or ask for explanation, unfortunately.

Link to where the little paragraph comes from: http://englishforeveryone.org/Topics/Wr ... actice.htm

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Second verse, same as the first.
Now put me on a plane, so I can put 'em in a hearse.


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 Post subject: Re: Can you check my work?
PostPosted: Sun Jan 22, 2012 4:31 pm 
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Location: Perth, Australia (Formerly Vladivostok, Russia)
There's no reason you should be in doubt, it's all correct as I can see :)


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 Post subject: Re: Can you check my work?
PostPosted: Mon Jan 23, 2012 8:09 am 
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:oops: I see a lot,but won't call myself a German expert by far.
For example I see you use ausserhalb but that is more except/besides. Draussen would be better. Sah ich aus den Fenster is more when you see something. , looking out of the window is more schauen.
Heute Schule nicht is as much as today School Not
Heute keine Schule or Heute gibt es keine Schule.
Do you study at home from books only?
I would try to find an(online) course where your homework is reviewed and explained by a teacher.It's a bit of an investment but worth it. Or try to find a German speaking penpal or chat pal ,who is skilled in English as well. The way Germans construct a sentence is different from the English way( :) I have an advantage there, because the Dutch way is practically the same)
Good luck :hug:

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 Post subject: Re: Can you check my work?
PostPosted: Mon Jan 23, 2012 5:56 pm 
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^Danke!

Yes, I can't take formal classes since I could never afford them. I will try to find some online courses though that have real instructors. I know I'm not reaching my full potential with self-study, in high school Spanish I excelled because I had someone explaining and teaching right in front of me and I grasped it like *virtual snap* that. I'd really like to be fluent in German, and other languages too, but for right now just German.

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Second verse, same as the first.
Now put me on a plane, so I can put 'em in a hearse.


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 Post subject: Re: Can you check my work?
PostPosted: Thu Jan 26, 2012 5:09 am 
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I just realised that I was looking at it in the wrong way. I thought the German was the original, and the English was the translation (even though there were headers above each :oops: )


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 Post subject: Re: Can you check my work?
PostPosted: Thu Jan 26, 2012 9:02 am 
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This is my translation, but it was really good for self studying and yeah I'm from germany.

Meine Schwester weckte mich diesen Morgen früh auf. Sie lief in mein Zimmer bevor der Wecker aufhörte zu klingeln.
''Schau nach draußen!'', rief sie. Ich stand auf und schaute aus dem Fenster. Alles was ich sehen konnte war weißer Schnee! Dort war ein Mann, der den Bürgersteig vor unserem Haus freischaufelte. Mutter kam ins Zimmer hinein. Sie brachte uns beiden eine Tasse heiße Schokolade. ''Heute ist keine Schule!'', sagte sie. Ich war sehr glücklich. Meine Schwester war auch glücklich. Mutter verließ das Zimmer damit wir unsere Winterkleidung suchen konnten. Sie gab mir meinen blauen Schneeanzug (or Overall). Sie gab mir auch eine Mütze (or einen Hut) und Handschuhe.

You can say Mama, Mutti or Mutter.. it's german for mom ;)
But I think, it's easier to learn german, when you take a story, which is in the present.

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10th December 2011 - RAMMSTEIN @ Hanns-Martin-Schleyerhalle, Stuttgart (Deutschland)
07th July 2013 - RAMMSTEIN @ Zénith - Amphitheatre Plein Air, Nancy (Frankreich)
01st August 2013 - RAMMSTEIN @ Wacken Open Air (Deutschland)


It will be continue..


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 Post subject: Re: Can you check my work?
PostPosted: Thu Jan 26, 2012 2:39 pm 
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^ Thank you , very much appreciated :hug:

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 Post subject: Re: Can you check my work?
PostPosted: Mon Jan 30, 2012 3:48 pm 
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Thanks Metzger! :hug:

You're lucky German is your first language ^_^

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Second verse, same as the first.
Now put me on a plane, so I can put 'em in a hearse.


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 Post subject: Re: Can you check my work?
PostPosted: Wed Feb 01, 2012 10:13 am 
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Im afraid I cant help you much. Spent most of my German learning days learning how to smoke cigarettes, kiss boys and drink vodka.
Those particular hobbies made it hard for me to show up in German classes at 8 the following morning :P

Thankfully you have plenty of people here to help you out :D

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“Blessed are the weird people - poets, misfits, writers, mystics, painters, troubadours - for they teach us to see the world through different eyes.” ~Jacob Nordby.


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