I don't know that only tomboyish behavior says much... It took me years (and modern scientific research) to figure out my chemistry was a bit different. So much of being a tomboy is based on early childhood impressions... I used to think it was just that I admired my father and grandfather so much.
Then I thought that it was that men did more interesting things.
But now I realize most healthy girls admire their dad (if he's admirable - and sometimes even if he's not) and that there is evidence throughout mom's family for this trait, going back the the mid 1800s when one of a pair of twins was hermaphrodite. (This was a tragedy because he was raised as a boy, partly because his brother was one and when [s]he began to have periods [s]he was thrown into a corset and long skirts and into the Victorian ideal of a woman's life - a lot like being captured by the Taliban
. [S]he committed suicide rather than lose the liberty expected from childhood.) After that a lot of things I knew about members of the family, and my own feelings, "fell into place".
I've never been unhappy with being a woman or with my set of "equipment" and it's all quite unambiguously female. In fact I was "hot stuff" when young, according to the boys (and the jealousy of some girls.) I had the same figure as Marilyn Monroe.
Dressing in jeans and a man's shirt didn't change anyone's opinion that I cared about.
It did drive mom crazy... she had expected a little pink bundle of giggles and she got me, a horse-wrangilng, tractor-tinkering child who hung out in the local swamp with the boys, catching frogs and snakes.
She had hoped to go gaga over my first prom dress and I never went. I tend to look like a dressed-up pony in girly things!
But since I grew up in the country, where women often have to work alongside the men, I was accepted by my peers.
Sexuality comes, like many human traits, (such as sanity)
on a sort of sliding scale. If your new lover turns out to be "unusual" support them. But if it really bugs you, be honest because they need somebody who can take them as they really are. I've almost always been lucky enough to find men who don't care that I'm "one of the boys" and not threatened by my group of friends being male. Men are swell people! But their background set of legends about sex are different than ours. So make yourself aware of what a man is, and what he's likely to think he ought to be. (This differs between cultures, so it's not all genetic or gender-driven.)
I decided to work on another of Till's poems, because this one deals directly with the subject. This is a fairly accessible poem and I think some of you will be surprised by his feelings. I know it really hit me. viewtopic.php?f=4&t=3272&start=75