You started the thread
Oh and stardust, this thread totally wasn't because of your comment, babe! I suggested nola start the thread because the two of us were taking the Till thread in the Drool Bucket off topic talking about it.
Man, there are so many many things I could say about this subject! And I am aware that I am not an expert, so please feel free to educate me.
I don't have any problem AT ALL with consenting adults - whoever they may be - doing whatever the hell they want with/to each other. If someone gets their sexual fulfillment by waiting after a gig, sleeping with a musician and then going home again or by travelling with a musician and having a more ongoing sexual relationship, or any other similar relationship - that's up to them. To be honest, even if the relationship isn't what I would consider "respectful", if the people involved are all okay with that, then again, I think that's up to them.
What I don't like, however, and what I do have a problem with, is all the "culture" - for want of a better word - surrounding groupies. By that I mean the way it is assumed that having scantily clad women backstage has to be a part of being a musician, the way some musicians show off about how many girls they've got backstage, the way girls are just the entertainment or the scenery or whatever. I remember seeing a recording of a band (I honestly can't remember what band, or whether they were an old band or a current one) warming up backstage by throwing lunchmeat onto a naked woman's body. Apparently this sort of thing is definitely not unheard of. Now, to be totally honest, I don't care if the woman in that situation consented; I would not want to associate with people who had that kind of attitude to women. To me, that is not an appropriate way to treat anybody; it is highly disrespectful to a person's humanity to do something like that, regardless of their gender; and also, it creates, for me, a very uncomfortable sense of sexual power relations between men in bands and women they might take backstage.
That kind of extreme behaviour, however, does not seem to me to be the same thing at all as a girl travelling around with a musician as his lover on the road, or whatever. Or even just a girl who goes backstage, has a one night stand, and goes home again.
I also said in the other thread that I am not fond of the word "groupie", even though I know some people use it to describe themselves. I think it has unfortunate connotations and I think it has become too close to the word "slut" (which is another word I don't like but that's for another discussion). I think it again implies some sort of power relationship between the "groupie" and the person she (or he) is following that makes me kind of uncomfortable. I'm not saying there's anything wrong with there being a power relationship between two people in any kind of sexual relationship - what makes me uncomfortable is the assumption that there is going to be a particular kind of power relationship.
Anyway. That's my (a lot more than) two cents.
I hope I didn't offend anybody with any of that! I can get quite passionate about things and this sort of topic is guaranteed to get me going...
Oh, and one last thing... why are the girls backstage the ones who are always labelled "sluts", while the men around them are exalted to the heavens? I think the "slut" label probably applies far more to the men in a lot of these situations