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 Post subject: Re: Funny Movie/TV Quotes
PostPosted: Thu Apr 01, 2010 7:59 pm 
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Tillicious Girl
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Location: Handcuffed to Till Lindemann..
Yeah I called her up, she gave me a bunch of crap about me not listening to her, or something, I don't know, I wasn't really paying attention.

From Dumb and Dumber.

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 Post subject: Re: Funny Movie/TV Quotes
PostPosted: Fri Apr 02, 2010 3:20 am 
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Soul Therapist
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Location: Haddonfield,IL
Hot Shots:
Topper: nice legs
Ramada: thank you. I just had them lengthened, now they go all the way up

Porky's:
Ms Balbreaker (or whatever her name was): I'd know that penis anywhere....

American Psycho:
Patrick: I have to return some video tapes...

^maybe not what everyone finds humorous, but those lines always make me laugh!

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 Post subject: Re: Funny Movie/TV Quotes
PostPosted: Fri Apr 02, 2010 3:54 pm 
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Tillicious Girl
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Location: sitting on Till's lap
Blue Collar Comedy Tour: The Movie
Bill: My daughter's right in the middle, which is where you want them to be I think. She's friends with the popular kids, she's friends with the unpopular kids, which is cool, until they bring home one of their friends that you don't see eye to eye with. Like, the other day she brought home a friend who's into this goth stuff. Oh my God! Have you seen these little freaks? What happened! With the black nail polish, black lipstick, black eyeliner, black hair, and Liquid Paper-white face. I'm sorry, didn't we used to call that "Halloween"? She came to the door with my daughter, and I did this:
*Bill cracks up laughing and points*
Bill: But, I'm trying to be nice to her because she's my daughter's friend. My daughter says, "Daddy, this is my friend Lucy." I said, "Well, hey Lucy... fer! She looked at me like, "I will set you ablaze right now."

Bill: I got a great family. I got a 16-year-old daughter who just got her driver's license. So drop to your knees and thank the good Lord above that you live here and not where we live. She is without a doubt the worst driver on the planet. She's got no depth perception at all. We come up to this intersection. There's a car stopped. I'm like, "He stopped. He stopped! He stopped!" She goes, "I can see that." I'm like, "Oh, my God, she's her mother!" The other day, my neighbor asked, "When did you put the CD boom box in your car?" I said, "What?" He goes, "I saw you and your daughter driving down the street, and I heard this -"
[makes a thumping noise]
Bill: I said, "That was me stomping on the imaginary brake on my side of the car.

Ferngully the Last Rainforest
Batty: Nobody cares about me.
Zak: I care about you, bat-man.
Batty: Really?
Zak: Positive.
Batty: Only fools are positive.
Zak: Are you sure?
Batty: I'm positive...
*Zak laughs*
Batty: I fell for it! I should have known!

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Love is like a flower, even the most beautiful kind dies ~ Till Lindemann


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 Post subject: Re: Funny Movie/TV Quotes
PostPosted: Tue Apr 13, 2010 11:02 am 
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Posts: 579
Location: Manitoba, Canada
"And I won't kill you 'cause you're just too much fun."-The Joker to Batman in The Dark Knight

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 Post subject: Re: Funny Movie/TV Quotes
PostPosted: Sat May 01, 2010 2:55 pm 
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Tillicious Girl
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Location: sitting on Till's lap
Rocket Power
*finding out that 3 out of 4 friends are sick*
Otto: "You mean Sam's not sick cause he's always sick and we're sick cause we're never sick? That's sick!"


Kung Fu Panda
Shifu: "Master, that panda is not the dragon warrior. He wasn't meant to be here. That was just an accident."
Oogway: "There are no accidents."
Shifu: "Yes, I know. You've said that already...twice."
Oogway: "Well, that was no accident, either."
Shifu: "Thrice."

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Love is like a flower, even the most beautiful kind dies ~ Till Lindemann


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 Post subject: Re: Funny Movie/TV Quotes
PostPosted: Sat May 01, 2010 3:06 pm 
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Location: Blighty
I quite like this one :

“You're a creature of the night, Michael! Just like out of a comic book! You're a vampire, Michael! My own brother, a god-damned, shit-sucking vampire! Boy, you wait 'til Mom finds out, buddy!

The Lost Boys :heart:

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 Post subject: Re: Funny Movie/TV Quotes
PostPosted: Sun May 02, 2010 1:46 pm 
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Tillicious Girl
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Posts: 6194
Location: sitting on Till's lap
Rocket Man
*inside the rocket ship*
Fred: "Hey, commander can I call you Bill?"
Bill: "No."
Fred: "Are we there yet?"
Bill: "No."
Fred: "Can I drive?"
Bill: "No!"

*On Mars*
Fred: "Are we there yet?"
Bill: "No."
Fred: "Can I drive?"
Bill: "No!"
Fred: "You never let me drive!"
Bill: "Shut up."

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Love is like a flower, even the most beautiful kind dies ~ Till Lindemann


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 Post subject: Re: Funny Movie/TV Quotes
PostPosted: Thu May 06, 2010 9:56 am 
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Richard Fan
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Joined: Fri May 01, 2009 5:54 pm
Posts: 3072
Location: El Paso, Texas
The Whitest Kids You Know
Ms. Carisle-Meanwhile I am finishing your...*see's Jesse smoking* Are you smoking?!

Jesse-Yes, What's next? My room? Because I am trying to go there

Ms. Carisle-You are on strike 2 young man. 1 more strike and you're suspended!

Jesse-If I get suspended does that mean I go back to real school

Ms. Carisle-*get's very p.o.ed* THIS IS REAL SCHOOL!!

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 Post subject: Re: Funny Movie/TV Quotes
PostPosted: Mon May 10, 2010 5:50 pm 
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Tillicious Girl
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Location: sitting on Till's lap
CSI: NY
Dr. Sid Hammerback: [to Mac and Hawkes] The rawness of the flesh indicates she was alive during the beheading, but I bet she didn't feel a thing. Her blood alcohol level was 0.26 - blotto. The highest I've ever registered was 0.23, but that was in celebration of my first divorce. I fell down a flight of stairs, didn't feel a thing.

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 Post subject: Re: Funny Movie/TV Quotes
PostPosted: Wed May 12, 2010 12:07 am 
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Location: In the song I'm listening to.
I don't know why I found this so funny, but in The Hangover, when the Chinese pimp stomps on Alan's satchel and Alex screams: "HEY, THERE WERE SKITTLES IN THERE!" and then he gets punched in the stomach by a bodyguard... Couldn't stop laughing.

Also, a line from Fight Club: "I got right in everybody's hostile little face. Yes, these are bruises from fighting. Yes, I am comfortable with that." -Edward Norton

:rolling:

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 Post subject: Re: Funny Movie/TV Quotes
PostPosted: Wed May 12, 2010 7:06 am 
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Posts: 579
Location: Manitoba, Canada
Vincent: Want some bacon?
Jules: No man, I don't eat pork.
Vincent: Are you Jewish?
Jules: Nah, I ain't Jewish, I just don't dig on swine, that's all.
Vincent: Why not?
Jules: Pigs are filthy animals. I don't eat filthy animals.
Vincent: Bacon tastes gooood. Pork chops taste gooood.
Jules: Hey, sewer rat may taste like pumpkin pie, but I'd never know 'cause I wouldn't eat the filthy motherfucker. Pigs sleep and root in shit. That's a filthy animal. I ain't eat nothin' that ain't got sense enough to disregard its own feces.
Vincent: How about a dog? Dogs eats its own feces.
Jules: I don't eat dog either.
Vincent: Yeah, but do you consider a dog to be a filthy animal?
Jules: I wouldn't go so far as to call a dog filthy but they're definitely dirty. But, a dog's got personality. Personality goes a long way.
Vincent: Ah, so by that rationale, if a pig had a better personality, he would cease to be a filthy animal. Is that true?
Jules: Well we'd have to be talkin' about one charming motherfuckin' pig. I mean he'd have to be ten times more charmin' than that Arnold on Green Acres, you know what I'm sayin'?


Oh, Pulp Fiction always gives me a good laugh.

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 Post subject: Re: Funny Movie/TV Quotes
PostPosted: Thu May 13, 2010 5:29 pm 
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Tillicious Girl
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Joined: Wed Mar 31, 2010 8:18 am
Posts: 1673
Location: Handcuffed to Till Lindemann..
Just a few quotes from one of my absolute favorite comedians (R.I.P) Mitch Hedberg.

"I hope the next time I move I get a real easy phone number, something that's real easy to remember. Something like two two two two two two two two. I would say "Sweet." And then people would say, "Mitch, how do I get a hold of you?" I'd say, "Just press two for a while. And when I answer, you will know you have pressed two enough."

"Whenever I go to shave, I assume there's someone else on the planet shaving, so I say, "I'm gonna go shave, too."

"On a stop light green means go, red means stop and yellow means slow down, but on a banana it's just the opposite. Green means 'hold on,' yellow means 'go ahead,' and red means, 'where the f*** did you get that banana at?"

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 Post subject: Re: Funny Movie/TV Quotes
PostPosted: Fri May 14, 2010 8:14 am 
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Richard Fan
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Posts: 3072
Location: El Paso, Texas
Gabriel Iglesias-Hot and Fluffy

...And I'm not fat, I'm fluffy.
There are five levels. There are Big, Healthy, Husky, Fluffy, and DAMN!! I'm still number 4. If you are number 5 and you get stopped at the elevator, they're gonna go "Uh uh!" DAMN!! Even at Disneyland "I wanna go on that one" *growls* "Damn." :rolling: :rolling:

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 Post subject: Re: Funny Movie/TV Quotes
PostPosted: Tue Jun 08, 2010 10:59 am 
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Tillicious Girl
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Joined: Sat May 02, 2009 5:06 pm
Posts: 6194
Location: sitting on Till's lap
Five Questions With John Cena
*his take on doing David Hasselhouf's character on Baywatch*
John Cena: Stay out of the deep water. Yada, yada, yada. I need to go kiss a hot chick.


Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls
*on solving the case*
Ace: That's what you slipped in! That's what was on your shoe! And that explains the abrasion on your palm! Let me run that back for you.
[backs up]
Ace: Malp ruoy no noisarba eht snialpxe taht dna eohs ruoy no saw tahw staht ni deppils uoy tahw staht.
[starts moving forward again]
Ace: That's what you slipped in! That's what was on your shoe! AND THAT EXPLAINS THE ABRASION ON YOUR PALM! DAMN I'M GOOD!

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Love is like a flower, even the most beautiful kind dies ~ Till Lindemann


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 Post subject: Re: Funny Movie/TV Quotes
PostPosted: Thu Jun 17, 2010 3:40 am 
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Posts: 215
Location: Munich [Germany] / Pigadia Karpathos [Greece]
Whenever I start feeling sick, I stop being sick and be awesome instead... True story.

From legendary How I Met Your Mother.

True story. :lol:

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