Blue Collar Comedy Tour: The Movie
Bill: My daughter's right in the middle, which is where you want them to be I think. She's friends with the popular kids, she's friends with the unpopular kids, which is cool, until they bring home one of their friends that you don't see eye to eye with. Like, the other day she brought home a friend who's into this goth stuff. Oh my God! Have you seen these little freaks? What happened! With the black nail polish, black lipstick, black eyeliner, black hair, and Liquid Paper-white face. I'm sorry, didn't we used to call that "Halloween"? She came to the door with my daughter, and I did this:
*Bill cracks up laughing and points*
Bill: But, I'm trying to be nice to her because she's my daughter's friend. My daughter says, "Daddy, this is my friend Lucy." I said, "Well, hey Lucy... fer! She looked at me like, "I will set you ablaze right now."
Bill: I got a great family. I got a 16-year-old daughter who just got her driver's license. So drop to your knees and thank the good Lord above that you live here and not where we live. She is without a doubt the worst driver on the planet. She's got no depth perception at all. We come up to this intersection. There's a car stopped. I'm like, "He stopped. He stopped! He stopped!" She goes, "I can see that." I'm like, "Oh, my God, she's her mother!" The other day, my neighbor asked, "When did you put the CD boom box in your car?" I said, "What?" He goes, "I saw you and your daughter driving down the street, and I heard this -"
[makes a thumping noise]
Bill: I said, "That was me stomping on the imaginary brake on my side of the car.
Ferngully the Last Rainforest
Batty: Nobody cares about me.
Zak: I care about you, bat-man.
Batty: Only fools are positive.
Zak: Are you sure?
Batty: I'm positive...
Batty: I fell for it! I should have known!
THANK YOU JENNA!
Love is like a flower, even the most beautiful kind dies ~ Till Lindemann